Am I going crazy?!

Have you ever had a moment where you thought you were losing your mind? Well, I did on Friday. It started out great, I slept from 8 am to 2:30 pm(after working all night) without even waking to use the bathroom and then went grocery shopping, since we are having Mom and Warren and Carol here on Sunday for Easter dinner. Then as I was putting away the groceries I became increasingly agitated thinking about all the cleaning I needed to do since I was having company that by the time I got to putting the eggs away it took everything in me not to throw the eggs and break every one. And then I began my tirade. I became angry with myself because I had forgotten to mail a gift for Elle, who's birthday is the 25th, and had forgotten to drop off some bags of clothes at the Goodwill. So I ordered Curt to do those errands for me and then proceeded to throw anything that was on the floor in a box, a trunk, a closet or the garage. And I mean throw! I am shocked I didn't break something. I couldn't even talk because everything that came out was harsh and biting. So I was going around like a whirling dervish and poor Curt was just trying to stay out of my way. When I finally got most everything thrown somewhere out of sight I sat down on the couch and started crying, sobbing, because I couldn't get rid of the anger. I felt so out of control and the worst thing was I wasn't even sure what had prompted the whole thing. It took everything I had just to pull it together so I could go to work.
In a small way, I could almost understand how someone could shake their baby, stab their husband or something totally irrational. And people saying I can't believe they could do that, they seemed like such a nice person. Because I almost felt that I could have been capable of doing someone bodily harm if they would have gotten in my way or added one more bit of stress on me. It was really a very frightening feeling of being so angry and out of control and I was trying so hard to get over it but couldn't shake it.
But I am better now even though I am still feeling a bit melancholy. But I get this way on holidays when my children can't come home and I can't go see them and I feel sorry for myself and wish that things could be different. But I will make it through with God's help and a little help from my friends.
Here's praying for happier times!

Never say never

Well, Friday night I did something I said I would never do, and that is dye my hair. I have always loved my hair color, thought of it as one of my finer features. But I had determined that I would not become vain in my middle age years and resort to dying my hair. When I go grey, I go grey. But then,(I'll blame my husband here) when Curt was buying some hair color to cover up the grey in his beard, he convinced me I should try coloring mine. So I bought a box and brought it home and put it away thinking I would probably never use it and it was just a waste of money. But for some reason Friday night I decided to try it out...I was very nervous about the whole thing but got everything ready and as I am applying the dye it is a lavender color which really made me wonder what was going to happen here. And then I had to wait for 30 minutes, so I set the timer and went into the living room to read while I waited. After about 20 minutes I happened to look in the mirror and started to panic! My hair was carrot red! So I immediately start washing the dye out hoping that this indeed would not be the final result. After I got out of the shower and got it dried it wasn't as bad as I had feared. In fact the next morning I was waiting for Curt to say something but he didn't even notice until I asked him if he notice anything different about me and only then with some close examination did he realize I had dyed my hair. As you can tell by the picture it is a bit lighter than before but not too drastic. Whether I continue with this ruse only time will tell.