Over the Edge

Yup, here I am in the house all by myself pigging out on a can of Bush's Southern Pit Barbecue Grillin' Beans.  I went shopping and just couldn't pass them by.  For some reason I having been really craving vegetarian beans.  Not that they're the worst thing in the world but  they do have lots of sugar in, something I have been trying to avoid.  I JUST WANT IT BACK TO NORMAL!  I don't want to have to think about detoxing my body and being in pain, and what I should or shouldn't be doing.  Major pity party here, but my one vice I always went to when I was feeling down was FOOD!  And now that's the one thing I don't enjoy.  I want real food, not not food that's juiced and has all kinds of herbs added to it.
Angela did get here Friday night and by Sunday she was already organizing my cupboards!!  I now have on oatmeal station, a juicing station, a baking station and spice station.  Which got me motivated to start going through my cupboards and figure out what I can get rid of. Which really is a lot!  Angela says if you look at it and it makes you happy you can keep it.  So out went all my old Tupperware.  Originally, I was going to just give it to Goodwill but it is starting to be such a lot I thought maybe I should have a garage sale after my radiation is done.  Even if I only make a $100, a $100 is a $100.  Even though the organization is terrific, everything comes with a price.  Angela came to help me through this whole cancer journey.  And a big part of it for her was helping me with the diet part of it, making sure I eat healthy and appreciate what it's doing for my body even if it may not be the most pleasant and taking care of me.  So when I complain about the food and the detox regimen and am focusing on everything I have to do to get ready of Vacation Bible School she gets a little upset and lets me know it.  So there are many tears shed at times when we don't see eye to eye.
And that is why I am sitting here, eating my beans and not caring about anything.  I'm sure I'll regret this later but for now I am savoring every bite!