The Doubt

This morning was rough for me.  I haven't been feeling well since last Friday.  The nasal congestion I can live with but this constant cough is wearing me down.  Yesterday I made a concoction of fresh squeezed lemons, pineapple juice, a whole head of garlic, cayenne pepper, ginger, and honey and blended it up and drank it throughout the day.  And then I did my first juicing for supper.  And I guess I was hoping for an overnight miracle and would be over this bronchitis by this morning.  But I wasn't any better and for some reason my gluteal muscle was really hurting and I couldn't sit for any period of time. I just wanted the cancer to be out!  So I was considering going for radiation and surgery and forget all this natural healing.  But after talking to Amy my hope was renewed and I decided to go for a walk.  It was brisk out but the sun was shining and it did lift my spirits.  While on my walk I was reminded of Proverbs 3:5,6 which says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths".  It started me thinking about how little pain and suffering it took me to be ready to throw in the towel.  I started thinking about the time of trouble at the end of the world and how we'll be ridiculed, maybe thrown in prison, maybe tortured.  I've always thought that I would stand strong no matter what I had to endure knowing that God would help me through it.  And here I am ready to give up on trusting God to heal my cancer if I just give my body what it needs to heal itself.  So keep those prayers coming and any words of encouragement are appreciated.  We will make it through this.