My Confession

My children were all home for Skye's first birthday party.  It's the first time since last March, when we had my mom's 80th birthday celebration that we have all been together.  I have to confess that every time my children come home I have a tendency to want to be quite possessive of them.  I hate to admit it but I have always be a little jealous of my mom and the attachment my kids have to her.  Because she and my father practically raised them on the farm and they seemed to prefer being on the farm to being with me in Jamestown, I have at times resented her.  And now her cabin out at Spiritwood Lake has taken on that same attraction. The kids were all staying out at the cabin and I felt that I was missing out on a lot of quality time with them because I had to be at home planning a meal for the day.  So on Monday morning, July 2, I was hurrying around in my kitchen trying to get some scotcheroos and a taco salad put together to take out to the lake and the time was rushing by.  Jeremy and Krissy were going to be leaving at 11 o'clock and it was almost 10:30 and I began to have a severe pity party.  It was your typical "Martha complex",  feeling sorry for myself that here I was working away and I was missing out on all the fun at the lake, missing out on seeing my kids water ski, and playing late night Rook games and other fun times.  And like before, my mom is there and I am here crying and feeling sorry for myself.  I really hate myself when I get that way because I don't want to be jealous of my mom.  She is a wonderfully, amazing lady at the age of 81.  So I did a lot of praying and talked my way out of my self-pity so I could put a smile on my face and enjoy the short time I had to spent with Jeremy and Krissy.  I was hard saying good-bye since I felt that I had so little time with them but all is well and I look forward to the next time we will all be together again.